Lockdown Lamentations

I cannot describe my feelings and emotions anymore

constantly twisting turning, a psychedelic Rubiks cube

only balanced when my daughter calls me

being a father, a dad pulls me back into the battle – into line

Something real to cling to

Giving me hope, a reason to keep going…

Not that I just live for my children

but they say they’re the last faces you see before you die!

 

Wandering alone through this dry arid wasteland

A home fit only for demons and jackals

I feel as if I am being prepared for eternity

the poetry has gone from my soul

this spiritual nomad who may be insane

Will I ever write verse again?

Maybe the gift has left me?

Blown away like tumbleweed…

‘Dust in the Wind’ by Kansas a fitting soundtrack to this movie

in which I play the lead…

 

Boxed in, unable to manoeuvre or gain an advantage

Caged like a dancing bear…

Snatching precious moments with Indiana*…

Looking in the mirror – I’m getting a tan!

Yet this is no holiday…

 

Do I truly know myself?

Or am I deluded? No! Not me, NEVER!

I’ve done too much work on myself!

But the doubts creep in like bog mist.

Passions burn inside-Tormenting-Tempting-Dividing

Am I Going mad?

Where’s my faith? Where’s my God in this?

Has it all been for nothing?

Through this meltdown eventually, I find peace

Re-booting my being-settling my Spirit once more

I love my life with all its problems-idiosyncrasies

I truly love my children – Yeah, you know what?

It’s going to be alright, everything’s going to be alright……………..

 

M C Bolton April 2020

 

* Indiana is my youngest child, aged 14

@MarkCBolton1 @UrbanDandyLDN

 

IMG_3140
by TC

 

14th June 2020

Tuesday marked 34 months since the Grenfell Tower fire. There was, of course, no organised silent walk, but many will have walked in silence, their thoughts drawn again, as so often, to that fateful day in 2017.

The third anniversary moves nearer, and we naturally start to anticipate the feelings it will stir. But on 14th June 2020, there will be no mass gathering in North Kensington.

This is a sacred day for the community, when we remember those lost, remember each other, reconnect and briefly recapture the spirit that served us so well during those long, hot days and nights in 2017.

The official response to the horror at the Tower can be characterised as a dereliction of duty. Where it existed at all, it often faltered and sometimes exacerbated the crisis. But this community did not hesitate or fail. The outpouring of love during those days is something that will live on forever in the memories of all who were there, to be passed on to our children and grandchildren with pride, sure that this was the way humans should respond to a human tragedy.

And in this current crisis, it is clearer than ever that the North Kensington community is far ahead of those that still presume superiority and a right to rule over the nation.

Under the oppression of lockdown, many in North Kensington suffer with health and housing issues, with poverty. Re-traumatised, minds are flooded with memories of the fire, unease haunts our dreams and waking lives.

Death always lurks in the shadows, but we have a heightened awareness of it now, just as we did then.

For 34 months, many, or more likely, most of us have toiled with the shame and guilt that accompany trauma.

In these new COVID circumstances, the wisdom of the Chairman of the Grenfell Tower Inquiry to arrange proceedings so that attributions of guilt would be delayed for years must be questioned. Opinions on that are for another article, but it is important to acknowledge here that the pandemic has paused the Inquiry’s hearings, thereby extending an already unnecessarily long period of limbo.

This new delay comes as the full impact of the disaster trauma kicks in for thousands of affected individuals. It takes between two and three years for the full experience of trauma to begin to manifest following an event on the scale of the fire. Easily, imperceptibly triggered, widespread trauma makes mutual support so vital.

The thought of not being together on 14th June is almost unbearable. Nothing can adequately replace the hugs, the connections and the power and comfort of the shared, silent experience. Every individual experiences so much each 14th June, the intensity eased perhaps by a shared feeling of decency and humanity rising within ourselves and in our community…an indescribable, ethereal mix of raw vulnerability and strength

If the thought of not being able to be physically together to mark the occasion in June hurts, you can perhaps take solace in knowing that we were the ones who were there for each other in 2017, we responded with love, and we are ready to do so again. Many already are in the current crisis. Be certain that this humanity can be your comfort and that you can give and receive when the time comes.

There will be light in the darkness, and it will emanate from the North Kensington community.

Kensington and Chelsea-20110625-01641

By Tom Charles @tomhcharles

 

2020 Vision: RBKC & North Kensington

“This Council – its policies, its leadership, its senior people and its culture – has changed.”

Cllr Elizabeth Campbell, Leader and
Barry Quirk, Chief Executive
Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, March 2020

 

Since June 2017, Kensington and Chelsea Council (RBKC) has claimed to be undergoing a culture transformation. This website has shown that this assertion is untrue; that public money has been spent to thwart resident empowerment, while austerity spending cuts have been imposed on vital services. Two strategies used by RBKC to frustrate North Kensington’s development have been manipulation through public relations and divide-and-rule of the community. We tackle both here, exposing the PR con using contributions from local people who have stayed faithful to the ideals of community through three traumatic years and have come together to produce this piece.

Background

In this article, we update our challenge to RBKC over its claims to have changed following the Grenfell Tower fire. Since June 14th, 2017, we have presented an evidence-based rebuttal to the council, revealing a fraud perpetrated against residents by RBKC before, during and since that crisis. Not once has RBKC disputed our criticisms with evidence. While we have provided real-life examples of serious failings, the council’s response has been to parrot their ‘change’ mantra.

This update was planned before the Coronavirus had impacted daily life so severely. Many people have been quick to predict that positive political, economic, social, philosophical and cultural transformations will spring from the crisis. We believe that only unified, grassroots action changes things and that adversarial journalism is indispensable in this.

1

 

RBKC’s Change Policy

By Tom Charles

The Conservative leadership of RBKC lives in an altered reality. On the ground: no change; in their press releases and public utterances: change. It seems that truth is not important, careful PR management is. RBKC remains intractable in this approach, typified in the quote above from the leader and chief executive of the richest local authority in the country. Over the past three years, we have published the following stories, exposing the lie of Campbell and Quirk, two functionaries for a rotten council that needed root and branch change… Continue reading

Protego (a Poem for Easter)

Every night you hold me in your arms

my head at rest against your heart…

Darkness dutifully invading

daylight gently retreating…

 

I feel my breath leave my body

like a ghost passing through a wall…

So soft your wings-smoothed by eternity’s tide…

Drifting slowly-peacefully into deep sleep

floating away upon love’s rainbow sea…

 

To awake alone-blessed with another day

starting anew this journey of life

with hopeful expectation

of your unseen entrance,

my silent protector…

 

Seeing only your delicate footprints

on past times’ sand…

Forever watching over me

my comings-my goings

in good times-in bad!

 

As to all mankind, that day will come

when I will grasp your hand

entering that tunnel of light

travelling to my Heavenly home

into the arms of my God

saved by the lambs’ precious blood

to be forever with you, my Angel………………

 

M C Bolton, March/April 2020

@MarkCBolton1

 

 

Protego
Photo: ‘Blossom on the walk today’ – Diana Charles