I cannot describe my feelings and emotions anymore

constantly twisting turning, a psychedelic Rubiks cube

only balanced when my daughter calls me

being a father, a dad pulls me back into the battle – into line

Something real to cling to

Giving me hope, a reason to keep going…

Not that I just live for my children

but they say they’re the last faces you see before you die!

 

Wandering alone through this dry arid wasteland

A home fit only for demons and jackals

I feel as if I am being prepared for eternity

the poetry has gone from my soul

this spiritual nomad who may be insane

Will I ever write verse again?

Maybe the gift has left me?

Blown away like tumbleweed…

‘Dust in the Wind’ by Kansas a fitting soundtrack to this movie

in which I play the lead…

 

Boxed in, unable to manoeuvre or gain an advantage

Caged like a dancing bear…

Snatching precious moments with Indiana*…

Looking in the mirror – I’m getting a tan!

Yet this is no holiday…

 

Do I truly know myself?

Or am I deluded? No! Not me, NEVER!

I’ve done too much work on myself!

But the doubts creep in like bog mist.

Passions burn inside-Tormenting-Tempting-Dividing

Am I Going mad?

Where’s my faith? Where’s my God in this?

Has it all been for nothing?

Through this meltdown eventually, I find peace

Re-booting my being-settling my Spirit once more

I love my life with all its problems-idiosyncrasies

I truly love my children – Yeah, you know what?

It’s going to be alright, everything’s going to be alright……………..

 

M C Bolton April 2020

 

* Indiana is my youngest child, aged 14

@MarkCBolton1 @UrbanDandyLDN