It’s in the wilderness

I find true inspiration

that internal dry place

where I look deep into the soul

 

A confrontation with my true self

with all its peculiarities, insecurities

anxiety, stress – deluded dreams!

Oh! How I wear that cloak so easily

like taking the king’s shilling

to fight wars of attrition against my subconscious

 

Once born truly rounded

until the jig-saw of life

cut deep into my being

manufacturing another puzzle piece

creating my fruitless quest to fit in…

 

A spiritual lobotomy

those missing parts – lost – forever gone

Never again can I be whole

 

Learning to live with those internal apmutations

suicidal fears – toying – tormenting

not that I ever would

just my free will says I could…

 

Inner voices – choices

feel like the Joker

yet nobody laughs…

I’ve spied the promised land

like Moses it will elude me

never to cross the Jordan River

the land of milk and honey

beyond my reach

my time is nearly done

was it ever real

or existing only in my dreams…

 

©M.C. Bolton

@MarkCBolton1